More Time

The grand occasion of a snow day invites us to reflect on the meaning of time in our lives. For many people, especially in American culture, we have many things to do and lots of tasks to get done. Our time is very valuable. However, a snow day gives us the mandate to rest because we really can't go anywhere and even if we could most places are shut down. So on a day of rest, what do we find more time for.

This thought process comes up because of a friend's text message to me when I told her I was going to be doing much of what I had already planned to do, namely read a book. She laughed and told me I should go celebrate, so I responded by asking her what she was going to do to celebrate. And she was happy that she had more time to get her work done, which even if someone is not counting on a snow day, more time to get work done is always a good thing. I did what I originally set out to do, read a good Trinitarian theology book (The God of Jesus Christ by Walter Kasper) but also I took a walk outside, and made a snow angel :P ).

Now when we think of the phenomenon of more time there are really two inherent tensions of service we experience as persons. More time is either task oriented, or person oriented, and inherently people want both in order to feel accomplished and yet really serve the people who are nearest to them.

However, there is a problem in American society with how we emphasize our value of more time. America values productivity, working hard with one's time so one can get a reward. The reward is monetary stability (or so we are told) and the satisfaction of a hard day's work for our own fulfillment. In return, the gifts of labor we give work toward a common good of some sort, whether that be productivity, service, etc. In this exchange, people are valued in a commerce exchange, for what one can give to the other. While it is good to value the talents and gifts of others, in a commerce exchange, the gifts of others are all that are seen and shared. This mentality affects how we view our time with other people; namely, the temptation exists that if people don't serve our needs, we don't pay attention to their presence in our lives. This creates a potential for an indifference to build, even in the closest relationships, because our main method of relating is utilitarian. More time, then, becomes task oriented, we have to be doing something, otherwise we're not productive, not giving enough to the common good, or not sharing a pleasurable experience, etc.

To be fair, commerce exchanges are necessary for societal function. I need the person that I can buy a Cheesy Gordita Crunch from and not have it be an excessively personal relationship. There are too many people and too many needs to fully attach myself to every person whom I encounter. So there needs to be some distance in the good sense (identification) and in the not ideal sense (as separation from the other.) A possible solution to this exchange conundrum is gratitude. If we are thankful for the people who participate in commerce exchanges to get us our Cheesy Gordita Crunches, then it gives people a capacity for openness to others whom need more personal attention.

Openness is important in giving personal attention to others because it lets the other person be who they are in that moment. Positing the authentic self is an important tenet in the work of Kirkegaard in his reflections on the individual and the theological method of Bernard Lonergan. Authenticity allows for honesty which enables people to personally grow, be affirmed, and be challenged by those around them. This also requires a different wavelength of thought than the commerce exchanges of personal relationship which are valued by American culture in general (Church and State). It requires more attention and more depth.

The attention and depth given to personal relationships, however, leads to more fulfillment than a simple commerce exchange. The best example I can give is with my work. Right now, I read lots of books. A book can only teach me a certain amount of information based both on what is written in the pages by words, plus my own consciousness and givenness in thinking about the book's contents. The finite limit is on how much knowledge I can actually attain from the act of reading a book. However, depth in a personal relationship is almost limitless, only limited by the innate limits of being a human person. Why? Because humans transcend themselves through thoughts, feelings, and intuitions. People change and grow over time, and we are all a part of each other's change toward love, hate, or indifference. In this way, no matter how much time one spends with a person, complete knowledge is never really possible. In short, I will always have more time to read a book or write a paper because there is a limit to how much I can really know from any particular article, even though some pieces may be very formative to my thought, but I will never have enough time to fully know another person, even as much as I might want to, because the potential of another's knowledge and givenness is far beyond me, and can only be told through bits of mediation; in the smiles, joys, hopes, and fears of a human person (GS 1).

Having more time is always a blessing, but we need to think about how we spend more time with others, and what our time means to us and to the world.

Aristocrates